A cyclist, a politician and a rapper are in a plane…

And then it crashes and we aren’t terribly sad.

Listen, I’m not going to do a big thing about it all because it’s been done at great length today. I will give my two cents.

Lance – As a cyclist, I am already obliged to dislike him. Funnily enough, he actually appears to encompass all the qualities that makes me dislike cyclists. In this case it probably comes from some delusion of self importance caused by him winning that stupid cycling tour or being a uniball. Apparently being a uniball means you only have to obey half the rules. Har har. I’m terrible I know.

Julius – Oh Julius. Bru, you don’t do yourself any favours. I know you think you’re untouchable and you think that it’s great to speak from the heart (or whatever is currrently sitting where your heart used to be) but really, stop putting your foot in your mouth. It’s just embarassing now. And get a facial because you look far too old to be heading up the youth league.

Jub Jub – You fucking idiot. If it wasn’t bad enough for those of us who enjoy moving fast, you’ve gone and made it worse with fucking idiotic and irresponsible behaviour. Dicing in the middle of the afternoon while drunk? Awesome. You’re just an evolutionary loser you are. When driving fast you actually have to be more careful and responsible, I’m just saying.

And now in my life, I have recruited Richard (who is doing an amazing job at a whole lifestyle change and has lost 18kg so far) to be my Mr Miyagi…the second. So far he’s doing a wonderful job – he’s made me feel guilty at least three times today about things like the bread my sandwich was made out of and not eating breakfast. He’s also trying to get me to go hiking. Despite all this, I still love him dearly. But be less disappointed in me (Oh and bloody well done love, it’s amazing how well you’re doing).

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