Not quite Teen Wolf
25 Nov
As you can tell from the picture I’m talking about that New Moon movie all the girls are going on about. I was invited by a friend to go to one of the ’sneak preview’ nights that Ster Kinekor are running with New Moon. I’m not quite sure how it’s a sneak preview when you can just buy the tickets like you would at any other time but, whatever.
What the hell does me watching this movie have to do with this post’s title? The werewolves in the movie – duh. Sheesh, where have you been? I know 96 year old grandmothers in comas who know all about this series.
These werewolves are a group of strapping young lads who have been branded as the movie’s eye candy since they run around without shirts on – apparently, if they are wearing a shirt it promptly gets shredded into hundreds of tiny little pieces so they’ll never be tempted to put it on again. They definitely are eye candy though. A very nicely built group of…boys. I saw middle aged women fanning themselves over a 17 year old. That is a bit creepy yeah but before you feel completely iffy, remember how some of you lusted after the Olsen twins before they hit 18 – and you’ve been watching reruns of them when they were toddlers…that’s creepy man.
Of course a group of wolves with finely chiseled chests are about as far removed from that loveable 80’s classic, Teen Wolf, as peas are from Michael J. Fox’s fork. (Was that too low a blow?)
I’m not actually going anywhere with this line of thought by the way, it’s just something I thought of while watching the movie.
Ah, the movie.
Well, it was a the second movie in a paranormal romance series for young adults* with an awkward girl, vampires that kinda break the rules of what vampires are (i.e. they sparkle – did you see the sparkles I added to the picture???) and werewolves who are all descendants of (Native)** Americans.
Now let’s look at that again and let me point out the key element of that paragraph: “a paranormal romance series for young adults“*. Got that? Good, because it’s important. If you go in there expecting anything else you are going to be sorely disappointed. Unless of course you’re one of those people who want to go just so you can say how lame it is, then by all means feel free.
Let’s get the basics out of the way. I’ve read the books. I’ve enjoyed the books. I am not, by any means, obsessed with the books. When Twilight came out, I went to go and see it and I endured it. I didn’t expect it to be exactly like the books but quite honestly, it was a massive fuck up. Casting being their biggest error because now…we’re stuck with them.
Well…her.
Apparently they learnt from the rest of their mistakes because New Moon is a lot better. It’s amazing what getting rid of a crap director can do huh? Anyway, after the complaints from series fans over the last movie, New Moon has a story that is more true to that of the books. It’s not exactly the same, but it’s close. Of course, people are complaining about this too but hey, what do they care, they broke the Dark Knight’s one day box office record on opening day.
Also, the camerawork and effects are cleaner and more polished and overall, it’s a better film (like I already said).
They do still have the problem of the actors though. When Twilight first came out I was confused when I heard people say that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewert had amazing chemistry on screen – mainly because whenever she looked at him it was like she was barely tolerating his presence. These two just aren’t meshing well together as the characters…Rob looks bored with such a one-dimensional character (look agonised…okay now look agonised with a slight smile) and the actress playing Bella has apparently been replaced by a wooden plank. I’m sure Kristen Stewert is a lovely person and all but wow, the girl is just a terrible actress (in everything, not just this series. Seriously, I don’t know how she gets work sometimes.)
Also, did we absolutely require Dakota Fanning? Really? I mean, this was the first time I’ve ever seen her in a movie and she hasn’t screamed her little head off, but still.
So overall, I didn’t watch it expecting much and I knew it wasn’t going to be anything steller so I switched my brain off and just let myself enjoy it for the popular teenage sensation that it is. I might not have a greater insight into the meaning of life, but hell, I’m more relaxed so +1 there.
If you need a rating, I give it a 5/10. Completely average. If you’re curious, I gave Twilight a 4/10. And yet, I wouldn’t call them bad movies.
Now while I have your attention can someone please tell me what the fascination is with Robert Pattinson? I’ve really tried to work it out. I know a couple of people who think he is the bee’s knees and would love nothing better than to get on their knees for him, but I just don’t see it. Someone please fill me in.
*And adults who enjoy that kinda thing.
**Check how I put that in brackets? Yeah man. Technically they’re just Americans yeah? But if I put Americans there, no one would know that I meant slightly darker Americans with a fascinating culture who have been completely screwed over by the white man but don’t nearly as much recognition for it as the black man.
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I. have not read watched or encountered any of which you speak. But I felt compelled to tell you that anyway
Po´s last blog ..Yet another myth.
That’s quite alright
*snort*
Loved this. I must admit that I haven’t even finished watching Twilight due to the sheer crapness (not nearly as crap as the 3rd Harry Potter movie, but vrap none the less)
And while I’m on the Harry Potter thing, I still find Cedric Diggory, the sparkly tormented bloodsucker a little hard to believe.
I don’t think I’ll bother watching the rest of the series.
MeganTS´s last blog ..Watch This!!
That’s really saying something for how crap HP3 was
Glad you mentioned that actually because I can’t stand that one myself. Watched it again the other day because I thought maybe I had been unfair when I originally saw it but yeah…it’s still crap.
Quite honestly though, I probably will watch the rest of the series purely out of curiosity. I’m quite keen to see how they handle the birth scene in Breaking Dawn – can’t really do it in all it’s glory with a PG rating and all. If anything, it’ll probably be absolutely laughable.
Yes, yes that was too low a blow.
Craig´s last blog ..And I’m Back Again
La la la…I can’t hear you.
As a newly married young bloke you have no opinions
Damnit, I’ll just have to shout louder then!
Craig´s last blog ..Yearning for Normality
I have yet to actually watch this (it’s gone instantly into the “Wait for Video” pile for me). I read the books, they were fine, but yeah, it did not create any sort of obsession within me either. I will say that if I’d watched the movie before reading the books, I wouldn’t have got within a foot of the books. Twilight was such a rubbish movie … They got the casting so badly wrong in my opinion
phillygirl´s last blog ..All About the Food
Oh yeah absolutely. The movie would have put me off the books completely. I did find a way around it though: Get absolutely drunk or stoned and then watch it. It suddenly becomes a fantastic movie.
Hiya miss Goblin, are you giving away the password to your new pos or is it for your eyes only?
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