Day 1

Don’t get too excited about there being another post here. Gobz is still being held hostage. This means I should probably introduce myself. I am the infamous Boyf.

All I can tell you about what’s happening is that I got home from work yesterday to an empty flat. I thought this was strange since her car was still outside but I let it go. After about half an hour of having a really peaceful evening, I started realising some things were off – she hadn’t phoned to bitch at me in the last twenty minutes. Then, at around 7 or so, the doorbell rang. I went outside to check. All there was, was a note. I’ve decided to put that note here, along with everything else that happens over the course of this frustrating period as I’m sure Gobz would throw a tantrum if I didn’t – spouting nonsense about the world having to know etc etc.

The Note:

Dear Mom, Dad and Pookie

As you should have realised by now, I’ve been kidnapped. If you hadn’t realised then, well, bugger all of you. My kidnappers have requested that I write you this note. No, I don’t know who they are. There are two of them, one with (something scratched out) hair and one with a bad case of (again, scratched out) , but they always wear these weird masks that look like smiley faces so I can’t even tell you what they really look like. They haven’t told me what they want either. They said, they’ll tell us when the time is right…whatever that means.

At the moment, I’m pretty scared. They haven’t actually done anything to me, don’t worry. In fact they’ve been quite nice so far. They gave me a pack of cigarettes and a coke after they had dragged me into their hideout yesterday. No I don’t know where it is or identify anything unique about it.  They also let me take a shower and my “cell” has an actual bed in it much to my surprise. I’m thinking they must be high class kidnappers with a fabulous sense of style because really, the duvet is very pretty. Dinner was some rice. Nothing remarkable there. Despite all this I am terrified. I don’t know what’s going to happen and although they have been nice for now, I’m thinking that will change. My first clue is that they have been playing Avril Lavigne songs for the past half an hour. That one about life being complicated and um, the skater boy thing? Those two, on repeat. I hope it doesn’t continue much longer.

I’m sure they mean business though so please, please, PLEASE do what they ask of you.

Love

Your Terrified Goblin

That’s all there is. She hasn’t told us anything we can use and for now all we can do is wait. I, along with the rest of her family, are currently following her Twitter as closely as possible. It seems, they never found her cellphone and she’s been managing to send through updates, but, for some reason, can’t phone anyone. I don’t understand it myself, but there you go. At least we know she’s still alive.

Related posts:

1. Day 3
2. And we trust these people to keep us illuminated
3. Sixth time’s a charm
4. Weekend Update
5. Day 2