25 things I’ve learnt in 25 years

As I’ve mentioned before it’s my birthday tomorrow. My quarter century in fact. I thought a little something special was needed here for me to look back on some time, if I remember I even did it.

So, I present you with 25 things I’ve learnt in this short life. One for each year. Literally.

1. Learnt to walk. These were exciting times of course. I was suddenly more mobile than a wriggling grub.
2. Said my first words. Yes, at about 2 years old. I’ve never been much of a talker. Of course, the parental units worried a bit about this but their fears were abated one day when I opened my mouth and had spoke long sentances in a deep little voice. Apparently I had spent two years deciding I would speak with a vast vocabulary rather than one or two words.
3. Learnt that crickets are easy for a 3 year old to catch and a high source of protein.
4. After many frustrating hours spent staring at the pages, I finally learnt how to read the words. There was never anything I wanted more than to learn how to read.
5. Discovered Santa was my dad in a suit. He wasn’t always a bad guy.
6. Started having problems with the concept of Christianity when I read the bible and learnt that dinosaurs weren’t mentioned. Then I read the rest and decided to stop going to Sunday School.
7. Learnt that lampshades do in fact catch fire quite easily. And you probably shouldn’t lie about testing their combustible properties to your parents.
8. Discovered I was in fact a nerd with more of an aptitude for words and maths than drawing.
9. This was a big year. I learnt that those you should be able to trust aren’t always people you can trust. A bad bad bad lesson to learn.
10. Learnt that having a big brother is cool since he taught me a few things about defending myself. In other words, I got into my first real fight and walked away the less buggered up one.
11. A big year for my musical education! Went to watch Def Leppard and learnt there was more to life than New Kids on the Block.
12. Learnt to trust my intuition more. And also that no one would take my opinion seriously while still so young. Well, you learnt that lesson too you bastards.
13. Ah high school. And what did it teach me in standard 6? That girls can be unbelievably cruel and boarding school is balls.
14. The lesson everyone needs to learn at some point. What makes a good friend and how to be a good friend. Also, learnt how to smoke.
15. Started at a new school and learnt how to be just a tad more independent. Also had my first love at this point. Can I just say that it was difficult learning how to love someone for the first time in a reasonable and non crazy way? Yeah. Oh yes, and bulemia is bad mmkay?
16. Learnt how great sex is and learnt what it is to have a broken heart. He cut me deeper than anyone ever could and I had to learn how to get past that. Without flying across the country and kidnapping him.
17. Oh boy. So here was an interesting year. I learnt that possession of marijuana charges include being within “spitting distance” of marijuana. Also learnt that spending a the night in jail is balls and community service is no fun – especially when you’re making peanut butter sandwiches in a hospital kitchen.
18. Discovered that my mom was just a woman doing her best and that she is in fact an incredible person. Since then I have appreciated everything she has sacrificed and done for me and I love her that much more.
19. Started dating the boyf and discovered what a relationship could actually be like beyond fooling around and the infactuation of first love. I also learnt to forgive those who had hurt me in the past. After all, a lot of it was my fault.
20. Started really learning who I am as a person and accepting the flaws as part of the package. That’s right baby. The beginning of being a well balanced person
21. Learnt that insurance companies are evil and will try to bleed you dry. Also, car accidents are no fun.
22. Spent some time looking back at things and realising I can’t regret anything that has happened in my life. Just like my flaws, they have contributed to who I am today and how can you regret anything that has helped you learn and grow? Well, I certainly don’t.
23. Another big year. Learnt that family can still betray you in ways you never imagined. I learnt how strong my mother really is, how strong I really am and how weak my father is. He really had the chance to step up to the plate and prove himself and he failed. To my aunt: I’ve learnt to accept the pain people have caused me but I will never forget what you did to your sister after she helped raise you and support you your entire life. I’ll never forgive that.
24. Learnt to stand up for myself and my principles in new ways and that happiness is more important than a job. Also learnt the depth of my loyalty to those I care about.
25. We’ll see what comes up shall we?

My that is a lot. I know I’ve left a lot out but these were the only things that came to mind at the time. A lot of it may also be confusing as hell to some of you but feel free to ask about it and I’ll do my best to answer