Addicted – Shamefully

I haven’t really slept. I only went to bed at about 4 a.m. and spent the next three hours tossing and turning, unable to get past my adrenaline boost and just sleep. But it wasn’t a bad thing. I’ve been almost euphoric. I woke up grinning like an idiot, took my shower whilst humming any tune that came to mind and didn’t even get upset at the taxis driving like tits on the road. It’s a big deal when something like that happens.

I’ll get to why in a little bit. It’s something that I’m a bit ashamed of though so I feel a small explanation is needed.

I am very close to my inner child. I can’t see the point of acting like a “grown up” just because I’m getting older. I mean, I work, I pay bills – isn’t that enough? Why shouldn’t I get to take pleasure in simple things like stupid games and the most retarded toys meant for five year olds?

You may scoff at my desire to play with a battery operated toy supermarket but, chances are, I’m having a hell of a lot more fun in life and am a bucket load happier than you.My giant lime green care bear? It rocks dude! I love getting to be a kid still – especially to offset the way too many times I have had to be a stressed out adult the past year.

So all this being said, I come to my dirty little secret.

I was reading some entertainment news (read: gossip) yesterday and I came across yet another article about this darned movie Twilight based on the book by Stephanie Meyer. I had wondered before what the hell was the deal with this book and movie that had people going nuts and had looked up the plot, it sounded…unremarkable. Yesterday though, my curiosity piqued. I got a hold of the book and started reading…and I was gone.

I sat there, knowing it was silly, knowing that it was a overly romantic story to thrill teenage girls before they discovered real relationships and what comes with them. I read it anyway. A grin was perpetually on my face and I freaking loved it dude. It’s a story that seriously made me feel giddy. And I have a seriously weird crush on a book character now. I don’t think I’ll go and watch the movie – ending up with a crush on any kid that was in Harry Potter would freak me out, even if I’m not much older.

I can’t even tell you why the story was so freaking awesome to me. Maybe it’s the same reason I seem to be the only person on the planet who will still watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Update: I figured this out. It’s the whole thrill of remembering that first love and being able to experience that again. It’s fun. Don’t judge me. I do have a heart

I still haven’t come down either. I’m running around the office like I’ve taken a nice big hit of ecstacy. But I am drinking my supradyn for when the inevitable come down hits – probably around 12 when I will feel like dying and long for my bed more than I have ever longed for anything in my life.

All I can say is, if my stupid inner child makes me feel like this – I hope I never lose it and look like a moron for many years to come.